One Percent

I have a problem. I LOVE to eat. It's satisfying in a way few things are.

Obviously I fell off the healthy wagon. I don't know what happened, but one Saturday I said let's have a cheat day. That turned into a 3 week bender. No exercise and pigging out. 

To say I don't know why this happened would be a lie. I made excuses for myself that changed my mindset. For those interested my excuses and effects are below.

1) It kept raining so I stopped walking. Without walking I thought oh I'll just rest today. Then it happened again and again and again. Until I said fuck it.

2) my cheat day turned into a cheat weekend. Then shit at my job got CRAZY and I kept think I deserve a treat (I was really just stress eating), and, as always, I hit fuck it mode and ate EVERYTHING. Candy, chips, cake, bread, fried food, EVERYTHING.

At first I hated myself for it. Like was depressed about it, but then like always I just accepted it...

Here's the thing. This time has to be different. I have to pull up from ever noes dive. I just weighted myself. 433.4 pounds. At my lowest I was 429.2. So in two weeks of all fuck it mode I gained 4.2 pounds... Just 1% of my total. I can lose that in two weeks easy (and more if I can get 110% back on track).

Today is a new day.

Salad

So last night was interesting... {Some quick back story first... I help produce a comedy show with a couple of my friends who are NYC comedians. I create the flyers/logos and do the A/V for the show. We were doing our first show outside of NJ last night in Astoria at a place called QED. I was nervous and frustrated about the whole thing} I got to QED and the adrenaline started to kick in. I was excited again about the whole experience. The problem was the audience did not match that excitment. In fact only 1 person showed up (and she was just a fellow comedian).

Now that whole story isn't the interesting part. It just feeds into what happened next. So my buddy and I left their bummed out. We decided to meet up with my lady and grab dinner. What happens next is jaw dropping to me... I ordered a .... a .......salad. I know it's crazy. I have never in my life ordered a salad as a dinner. Something amazing has taken over me. Nothing else felt like the right choice. I'm really proud of myself.

Workouts are going good. Just finished my walk and I'll head up and do my sit-ups, push-ups and crunches.

Still going in the fight direction.

Food is Fuel

Resistance

Human beings are amazing. A woman can lift a car when her babies in trouble. A man can hold his breath for 4 minutes and survive. The human body can be pushed very far before it breaks. That means everytime you think you can't do something you probably can. It's just resistance rearing its ugly head. I came home exhausted from work, hungry and had a ton more to do before I could sleep. Oh and it was just starting to drizzle. All of that is just resistance. I got my 3 laps in and feel great about it. I even started to push harder. I jogged today. Not much just a few yards,  but it is still a great feeling.

Tomorrow is weight in day. I don't think I'll lose much or any, but I don't care. Weightbm loss is a long journey and I know I'm working hard. The scale can be decieiving especially as I'm trying to put on muscle with the squats and push-ups.

Every day I stay on track is a successful day. Food is Fuel.

Routine

I apologize. It's been a few days since I posted. My original goal was to post everyday, but things are crazy at work and other side projects so I haven't had time (plus I'd get stoned and forget to).

As far as the diet goes things are going well. My exercise schedule is fitting nicely into my life schedule. Having only one "rest day" has kept me focused. I know Friday I'm going strait out after work so I need to workout every other day this week.

I'm eating healthy and enjoying it. I don't have too many cravings (of which none I act on) and the munchies have subsided significantly.

I'm slowly feeling life get routine. In a good way. I'm 10 days in and feeling great. Onward and upward.

Food is Fuel.

Shopping

I went to Costco today... {Side bar: how do you guys say that? I had an argument with a dude at work about this. I say Cost-co, pronouncing every letter. He says Cos-co, making the T silent. It really weirded me out because other people agreed with him, anyway.}... And bought some really great food to keep my on track with the diet. I bought chia seeds and am going to try making some chia seed strawberry jam.

I added a third lap to my walk today. Felt good. I want to say almost effortless. I'm tired, but I think I could have done at least one more. I'm also noticing my stomach is getting a little flatter. I think the sit-ups are really helping with that (and the diet of course).

Things are feeling more routine. Feeling like making the right choice more instinctual. Though I walked past the pre-made pizzas and had to really fight the urge to buy one and eat it all tonight (ugh gross).  I am strong enough to do this.

Food is Fuel.

The Ugly

I said from day one that I would would put it all on the page here. I stumbled last night. Big time. I did really good until about 9pm. I was alone in the apartment and the munchies hit. That turned into a gorge of anything I could find in the house. It didn't impact my weight much but it did hurt my morale. I've been kind of lethargic all day (though I did get a solid workout un). The big thing for me now is to not hit "fuck it mode" and give up.

That's the difference between this and every other time I tried to lose weight. I could mess up 1 or 100 times. As long as I right the ship and keep moving I'll be ok. I did that today, and I'm proud of myself.

Below is the post from before the munchies. It's amazing what one trip to the fridge can cause)

Tonight was Passover dinner at my mothers house. Lots of food. Though she always tries to make things on the healthier side (little to no butter, cream or oil). I managed to do a really good job. Only had a couple glasses of wine, meats and veggies (and my moms matzaball soup). I really wasn't even tempted. I'm glad the focus is staying strong.

I took today as my rest day since I had no time between work and dinner. I'm glad I pushed through on the days I was tired it made me not feel bad about it today.

I had my first Friday morning weight in today. I've lost 10 lbs... in one week I lost 10 POUNDS. It feels great to see real change. I know not every week will be this dramatic, but it's a great way to start this journey.

Standing Up

I got a standing desk at work today. I've been thinking about getting one for a while, but didn't want to commit to something I won't use. I've enjoyed it so far. My feet hurt a little bit, but I think that will get better with time. The most interesting thing was that everyone had to stop and comment. People really like to inquire about change. It makes me wonder what people will say when my weight loss is noticeable.

Had the party at work today. I skipped it. I was talking to a friend about not being around all that food, and he pointed out that I didn't need to go. I think in the future I'd like to go to these parties, but during diet week one it just seemed like a mistake.

For the first time since starting I felt kind of hungry all day. I wasn't starving but I was watching the clock for lunch a bit more. I traded my oatmeal for a granola bar (ugh processed sugar) because of a time crunch at the office this morning so that may have contributed. Theirs a farmers market at my office tomorrow so I'll see if I can get some good fruits and veggies there for the weekend.

My walk was good today even though my feet hurt. I'm also feeling myself trying to pick up the pace. Which is excellent. Tomorrow is week one weight in and I'm feeling good about it. 

1 week down, a life time to go.