Salad

So last night was interesting... {Some quick back story first... I help produce a comedy show with a couple of my friends who are NYC comedians. I create the flyers/logos and do the A/V for the show. We were doing our first show outside of NJ last night in Astoria at a place called QED. I was nervous and frustrated about the whole thing} I got to QED and the adrenaline started to kick in. I was excited again about the whole experience. The problem was the audience did not match that excitment. In fact only 1 person showed up (and she was just a fellow comedian).

Now that whole story isn't the interesting part. It just feeds into what happened next. So my buddy and I left their bummed out. We decided to meet up with my lady and grab dinner. What happens next is jaw dropping to me... I ordered a .... a .......salad. I know it's crazy. I have never in my life ordered a salad as a dinner. Something amazing has taken over me. Nothing else felt like the right choice. I'm really proud of myself.

Workouts are going good. Just finished my walk and I'll head up and do my sit-ups, push-ups and crunches.

Still going in the fight direction.

Food is Fuel

Resistance

Human beings are amazing. A woman can lift a car when her babies in trouble. A man can hold his breath for 4 minutes and survive. The human body can be pushed very far before it breaks. That means everytime you think you can't do something you probably can. It's just resistance rearing its ugly head. I came home exhausted from work, hungry and had a ton more to do before I could sleep. Oh and it was just starting to drizzle. All of that is just resistance. I got my 3 laps in and feel great about it. I even started to push harder. I jogged today. Not much just a few yards,  but it is still a great feeling.

Tomorrow is weight in day. I don't think I'll lose much or any, but I don't care. Weightbm loss is a long journey and I know I'm working hard. The scale can be decieiving especially as I'm trying to put on muscle with the squats and push-ups.

Every day I stay on track is a successful day. Food is Fuel.

Routine

I apologize. It's been a few days since I posted. My original goal was to post everyday, but things are crazy at work and other side projects so I haven't had time (plus I'd get stoned and forget to).

As far as the diet goes things are going well. My exercise schedule is fitting nicely into my life schedule. Having only one "rest day" has kept me focused. I know Friday I'm going strait out after work so I need to workout every other day this week.

I'm eating healthy and enjoying it. I don't have too many cravings (of which none I act on) and the munchies have subsided significantly.

I'm slowly feeling life get routine. In a good way. I'm 10 days in and feeling great. Onward and upward.

Food is Fuel.

Shopping

I went to Costco today... {Side bar: how do you guys say that? I had an argument with a dude at work about this. I say Cost-co, pronouncing every letter. He says Cos-co, making the T silent. It really weirded me out because other people agreed with him, anyway.}... And bought some really great food to keep my on track with the diet. I bought chia seeds and am going to try making some chia seed strawberry jam.

I added a third lap to my walk today. Felt good. I want to say almost effortless. I'm tired, but I think I could have done at least one more. I'm also noticing my stomach is getting a little flatter. I think the sit-ups are really helping with that (and the diet of course).

Things are feeling more routine. Feeling like making the right choice more instinctual. Though I walked past the pre-made pizzas and had to really fight the urge to buy one and eat it all tonight (ugh gross).  I am strong enough to do this.

Food is Fuel.

The Ugly

I said from day one that I would would put it all on the page here. I stumbled last night. Big time. I did really good until about 9pm. I was alone in the apartment and the munchies hit. That turned into a gorge of anything I could find in the house. It didn't impact my weight much but it did hurt my morale. I've been kind of lethargic all day (though I did get a solid workout un). The big thing for me now is to not hit "fuck it mode" and give up.

That's the difference between this and every other time I tried to lose weight. I could mess up 1 or 100 times. As long as I right the ship and keep moving I'll be ok. I did that today, and I'm proud of myself.

Below is the post from before the munchies. It's amazing what one trip to the fridge can cause)

Tonight was Passover dinner at my mothers house. Lots of food. Though she always tries to make things on the healthier side (little to no butter, cream or oil). I managed to do a really good job. Only had a couple glasses of wine, meats and veggies (and my moms matzaball soup). I really wasn't even tempted. I'm glad the focus is staying strong.

I took today as my rest day since I had no time between work and dinner. I'm glad I pushed through on the days I was tired it made me not feel bad about it today.

I had my first Friday morning weight in today. I've lost 10 lbs... in one week I lost 10 POUNDS. It feels great to see real change. I know not every week will be this dramatic, but it's a great way to start this journey.

Standing Up

I got a standing desk at work today. I've been thinking about getting one for a while, but didn't want to commit to something I won't use. I've enjoyed it so far. My feet hurt a little bit, but I think that will get better with time. The most interesting thing was that everyone had to stop and comment. People really like to inquire about change. It makes me wonder what people will say when my weight loss is noticeable.

Had the party at work today. I skipped it. I was talking to a friend about not being around all that food, and he pointed out that I didn't need to go. I think in the future I'd like to go to these parties, but during diet week one it just seemed like a mistake.

For the first time since starting I felt kind of hungry all day. I wasn't starving but I was watching the clock for lunch a bit more. I traded my oatmeal for a granola bar (ugh processed sugar) because of a time crunch at the office this morning so that may have contributed. Theirs a farmers market at my office tomorrow so I'll see if I can get some good fruits and veggies there for the weekend.

My walk was good today even though my feet hurt. I'm also feeling myself trying to pick up the pace. Which is excellent. Tomorrow is week one weight in and I'm feeling good about it. 

1 week down, a life time to go.

420

I don't really know if I get it. Why do you need a reason to smoke? 4/20 is just another day for me. 

On to the topic at hand. I did my second day of using the apps. It felt really good. I'm still feeling focused and in control. Had some sashimi for dinner (avoiding the sushi rice). It was a little pricey, but on this "holiday" I thought it was ok to splurge.

Theirs a party at my work tomorrow. Hmm... Maybe I need to give some quick background. I work for a company that believes in a lot of perks for its employees. One of them is quarterly big parties. Tomorrow is our "spring fling" and these things always have a lot of food... Which is bad for someone on a diet. My goal is to do a walk around and pick one fairly healthy thing. I'll also go super light on the lunch. Skip the chicken salad and just have some veggies. The following day we are having a big department lunch, but I'm confident I can make some good choices there.

Looking forward to my weigh in Friday morning.

Sore

Had a long talk with the (soon to be) Mrs this evening. About this blog and why I want this. It was pretty intense (in a good way) and I think it helped me better articulate my goals. I feel like I want this for all the right reasons now. It's not about being "normal" or more attractive. I don't want the most memorable thing about me to be my size. The fat friend, the big coworker, the chubby guy. I want to build an identity that's completely separate from my weight. In order to do that I need to the lose a bunch, plain and simple.

Today I woke up still feeling sore from Sunday's workout. I decided I'd rather walk again today then try to push through the soreness. Being "workout sore" is a very specific type of sore. I actually really love it. It's a nice reminder that I'm rebuilding my body. Tomorrow I should be good to go for day two of the excersise apps.

Diets still going great. Oatmeal for breakfast, a little chicken salad with some raw vegetables for lunch and ground turkey and veggies for dinner. Looking forward to Friday's official weigh in.

Exercise

As promised, my new workout routine.

Week 1
Day 1 - Exercise Apps + .5 Mile Walk
Day 2 - 1 Mile Walk
Day 3 - Exercise Apps + .5 Mile Walk
Day 4 - 1 Mile Walk
Day 5 - Exercise Apps + .5 Mile Walk
Day 6 - 1 Mile Walk
Day 7 - Rest

I'll do this routine for two weeks and then start doubling the walking distance every week until I get to 4 miles. I'd like to continue on from there but I don't want to over commit. This feels like a plan I can stick to

Not all weeks will be perfect. That's why I gave myself a rest day. Also known as “life gets in the way” day. I only get 1 of them a week so I need to not waste it on laziness.

I should never let laziness make my decisions for me again.

I've also thought about replacing day 4 with a yoga app, but I'm afraid of repeating what happened with sworkit. I'll need to do some research.

Choices

Life is a series of choices. Ever decision leads you down a new path.

I felt some resistance today while I was walking. As I was finishing the first lap I had a thought, "one lap is good enough. It's just the first day". That's bullshit. I have to choose to want this. I have to be focused at every moment. I'm glad that I finished my workout, and I'm glad I started this journey.

On a less fun note I had a trip to the dentist today. They put in a crown. First time having that done and it is as un-fun as you'd expect. Fortunately a couple of pulls on my one hitter does what Advil can't.

Houston We Have a Problem

It's only day 2 and I've already ran into a bit of a problem. Sworkit, and my exercise plan, is not going to work for me.

1) The customization I expected from sworkit isn't free. They want $5 a month... Fuck that. I payed a lot for a gym membership I didn't use. If the app had wanted $10 to own or even $20 I would have thought about it. I'm done paying monthly fees.
2) I live in an upstairs apartment. There's no way a Fat man does jumping jacks at 6am quietly. My Asian downstairs neighbors will hate me even more then they (probably) do.

so Sworkit doesn't really suit my needs. I've had to call an audible. I have a few 0-100 *insert exercise* apps on my phone that used today. Over the next 10 weeks I'll go from 0-100 knee push-ups (I can barely do 1 real one, but I'll work up to that.), 0-100 squats and 0-200 crunches (working my way up to sit-ups).

The problem with these apps is they are only about strength. I also want to work on my cardio and my flexibility. I don't know why this wasn't part of my original plan but I need to walk more... a lot more. I only do about 3,000 steps a day right now. I want to get to the recommend 10,000.

My apartment conplex is conveniently exactly 1/2 mile around. So for two laps I'd walk a mile. I'll add a lap a week to build up to 10 laps (and eventually some jogging, but that can come later). I'll write up a plan tomorrow with specifics.

On a completely different note, I'm writing this post sitting outside enjoying some herb in a perfectly cool spring night with my lady inside sleeping waiting for me to come snuggle. I'm feeling confident and determined. I'm savoiring this moment. Never forget to pause and appreciate.

Creating a Routine

Getting healthy is all about creating a routine, and getting in the habit of making smart choices. That's what day 2 is all about. It's not enough to dream and wish. It's about taking a plan and putting it into action.

I actually woke up not feeling great, but I think I was just hungry. I've finished my breakfast, eggs and turkey bacon, and will workout in about an hour. I think today I'll try the cardio group. I also noticed a custom workout feature so I might play with that a little too.

I also decided I need to face the dreaded scale and weigh myself. I thought I was going to exceed the limit of my scale (my scale errors at anything above 450), but I came in at a morale boosting 440.  Which puts my first goal of 10% weight loss at 44 lbs... you know that's funny. 396 is the lowest I remember being in my adult life. It's kind of perfect that my 10% goal is that number. It feels kismet or something like that.

I'm also low on my stash. So I'll hit up my guy and pick some up today. The last batch I got from his was good so I'm hoping this next one will also be. Fucking NJ and their lack of legal weed.

One Small Step...

Its the end of day one and I feel.... I feel pretty good. I didn't make it all day without eating, but all I had was a cut up cantaloupe. Which honestly I don't feel bad about and shouldn't. I'll probably have a Strug cheese before bed too. 

I dug the sworkit app. I did a "stretching" routine to ease into this whole thing. I took some photos I'll post soon. I might wait for a good comparison shot before I do.

I'm feeling confident and strong. This really feels like a new beginning.

It begins

Today is the the day. I've been thinking a lot about how to do this. I know I need a rigid plan because if I don't start strict I'll never stick to it. So here's what I came up with so far.

Diet
Day 1 - Fast
Today I need to just cleanse all the crap out of my body. So I won't be eating and only drinking water or green tea

First 2 weeks - Strict
I'll be using my fitness pal to track my diet. I need to strictly stick to my calorie count especially for these first two weeks. I'm also going to avoid sweets during this time. I don't believe in eliminating foods as that leads to cravings, but I need to learn to say no. So for this week no telling myself "oh just a little piece".

Post 2 Weeks
This is when the constant struggle begins. I need to think about what type of diet I really want. More to come on this later.

Exercise
I've never been great at sticking to a workout routine, but I think I found an app that may be perfect for me. Sworkit is a fairly new work out app that gives you a randomly generated workout based on the time you choose. My plan is to start at 15 minutes and grow it 5 minutes ever Saturday capping it out at 60 minutes. The app also lets you choose different types of excersise (cardio, strength, yoga, stretching). I'll cycle through those to make sure I'm using and working lots of different muscles.

That's my plan to start this journey. I'll post again later today with a day 1 recap.

Also, please feel free to comment on anything you read here. I'm interest to hear what people think of this plan and my journey overall.

Day 0

Oh to be thin.... It's a dream I've had my whole life. I cannot remember a day in my life when I wasn't the fat guy. At school, at work, at home, at the beach, at the gym.... everywhere, but that is about to end. Today is the last day of me standing by and wasting my life on food.

Some quick background about me. I am 6'3" tall and weight 450 lbs (that's a guess as it could be a little higher but I'm afraid to check). I work in a fast paced office job I enjoy, and have a fiance I love very much. 

Oh, I also love weed. I started smoking fairly regularly 5 or 6 years ago, and for the last two years I smoke pretty much everyday. For those of you who read this and are imaging a burnout.... well guess again. I have advanced my career more in the last two years then I ever imagined I could.

I have one problem with smoking. THE MUNCHIES. Every time I smoke I end up getting lost in what I'm doing and I eat and eat and eat and eat. I wake up on most mornings still feeling full. It is really bad.

That's the point of this blog. Keeping me accountable for my actions. I will be posting here everyday. The good, the bad and the ugly.

I'll have more details for you tomorrow once I start Day 1.